A decent amount of the social gatherings I attend include conversations that steer toward homosexuality. Along with homosexuality comes bisexuality, and recently, my friends’ thoughts on dating bisexual people.
Opinions were split on whether or not they would be comfortable dating a bisexual individual. For both gay and straight people, the most common reason for being uncomfortable was the possibility of a bisexual significant other cheating on them with a member of the other sex.
Why is that? Bisexual people are no more prone to infidelity than heterosexual or homosexual people, even if they are attracted to two genders.
Sure, bisexual people can have desires that their significant other can’t provide in the sense that a bisexual woman with a boyfriend would still be attracted to women. But that is no different from when a straight male or female prefers physical traits that their partner doesn’t have, like a certain hair color or ethnicity.
I think the discomfort comes more so from the fear of being left for someone of the opposite sex. If I were to date a bi guy who then dumped me to be with a girl, it would hurt a hell of a lot more than it would if he’d dumped me for another guy.
The thing is that is shouldn’t. If anything, it should be the other way around. If I were to get dumped for another guy, that is one thing. But to be dumped for a girl, that should hurt less because I would run on a different track than this chick that stole my guy. We wouldn’t be in competition.
So in that sense, the irrational idea that bisexual people are more likely to cheat could be passed off as security issues of the non-bisexual half of the couple more so than the sexual desires of the bisexual half.
When it came down to it though, straight women were the most uncomfortable with the idea of having a bisexual boyfriend. They said they could never be with a man who himself had been with other men, especially if he had been on the receiving end of gay intercourse.
This is probably due to societal lines of masculinity and femininity, which I have discussed before. To society, it is impossible to be masculine male and still be attracted to other men. Think about it, straight women want a manly man and would struggle with the mental image of their boyfriend having sex with, let alone kissing, another guy.
Similarly, think of a straight man dating a bisexual woman. Do you think he would care as much if his girlfriend used to date other women?
Does a person’s sexual past really matter that much? I can understand not wanting to date someone who has slept with a lot of people, but whether or not those people were male or female shouldn’t change things. What matters is that this hypothetical bi boyfriend of mine is with me and no one else — not another guy and not another girl.
Relationships boil down to trust. You trust the person you are with to stay true to you and they expect the same. Bisexual people can be as faithful or as adulterous as anyone else. And to think otherwise is not only wrong but also limiting.
If you fell for someone who was bi, would you really consider not being with them because they play for both teams? Hopefully not.Contact Eric Ramirez.